Thoughts

I have not written in so long
because
Sometimes it is easier to
not write
not speak of
my stress
my fears
my loneliness.

The Man is still gone

away

an ocean and more apart
and it hurts my heart
to have him so far from me.

We spoke today
on video chat (I am so grateful)
and he looked so sad
and stressed
and worn.

He needs me
to sit down and have a chat
while he rests in my arms.

I need him
to sit down and have a chat
while I rest in his arms.

I need to make him a meal
full of love and goodness
a meal that only I can cook.

Somehow cooking
helps heal my heart
and his eating of my love
heals his.

To say my heart it now
bears a heavier burden
would be truth.
But I cannot sit and tell
and pour it out...
If I could
I would
but I cannot.

Wonderment

Today my heart
it spilled
wet tears of joy
down my cheeks.

I can't believe that I have a son!
One of my very own to love and nurture,
to watch him grow and
guide him as he discovers the world.

I am so blessed and filled
with the wonder of being
his Mama.