New Life; Sam's Birth Story

Sweetest Baby

My dear sweet Sam Bear is 6 months old today.  August 1st at 11:17 am he greeted us with his sweet self and my world will never be the same.  Oh Sam, you are such a sweet baby, so beautiful and I love you with my whole being.  I never knew how much love I could hold in my heart until I became a Mama and then I became a Mama again. Somedays I feel like my heart and soul just cannot contain how blessed I feel, how much love I have for my boys.

I love birth stories and shared Ren's story here. And although it has been 6 months (my goodness where  oh where does the time go) I wanted to sit down and write out Sam's story too.

We found out that we were pregnant right after Thanksgiving.  We had just visited a fertility specialist and when my cycle started I was scheduled to go in for blood work and all the other fun stuff that infertility brings.  I was a couple days late and had a couple testes here at home...I took one waited about 45 minutes and took the second one...just to make sure.  POSITIVE...YaY!!!  I was so excited and thankful to God for this miracle growing inside me.  Nine months later on his due date our little Sam Bear was born.

My labor was relatively quick and such a powerful experience.  I woke up around 2-2:30 in the morning with mild cramping and tried to sleep.  It was so hard for me to get my mind to rest but I knew my body needed it.  So I lay in bed, half sleeping, half praying, a little excited and a little scared of what the day might bring.  Around 5 am I got out of bed, checked my overnight bag (which had been packed for weeks) and showered.  Not sure what to do but not wanting to wake anyone, I sat down and began paying bills.  Ed was up by this time and wanted to get his morning run in and try to make it to work to submit leave paperwork.  I told him to go ahead and I would call if I needed him home sooner.  My Mama (who is a Doula) and my sister Irene were visiting...waiting for Sam to make his entrance.  My Mama talked me through some breathing exercises and Irene timed the contractions.  About 9 am after holding on to the back of the couch and dropping almost to the floor during contractions we decided it was time to head to the hospital.  Ed returned home as quick as he could and my Mama helped us get everything in the car and ready to go.  Sitting in a jostling vehicle and breathing through contractions a lot harder than standing and partial squatting through contractions.  When we arrived at the hospital I forgot that we had to check in through the ER...so after going upstairs looking around...seeing that no one was coming to my aid we got back in the elevator and checked in through the ER.  It was around 9:30 when we were fully checked into a L&D room.  I was checked and was so disappointed only 4 cm.  I just thought...great...only 4..I have so far to go.  My Mama encouraged me to do what my body was telling me to and the nurse agreed that I did not have to labor on the bed unless there was a medical reason to.  So I knelt beside the bed, knees on a pillow on the floor, the top half of my body laying over the end of the bed, palms open, breathing deep and long.  I remember bearing down, praying, moaning,  feeling an immense peace and also thinking that I was crazy for wanting to go drug free again.   When my OB came in, around 11am, to see how I was I could see he was a little taken back that I was not in the bed but on the floor beside it.  He asked if I wanted my waters broken, said that it would speed up delivery.  I asked won't that make it hurt more...He said, Yes...but a 1/2 dozen of one, 1/2 dozen of the other.  After another contraction or two I looked up at Ed and decided Yes...Yes break the water...but I didn't want to get in that bed.

First Snuggles

Get back in the bed I did, I was 8cm when checked.  He broke the waters and said he would be back soon....Ed told him not to go very far that Sam would be here quick.  And quick he was...6 minutes and a couple pushes later my Sam Bear was born.  Wednesday, August 1, 11:17 am, 8 lbs 3 oz and 19.5 inches long.  He was a bit blue...cord wrapped a couple times...so he was turned over to the baby nurse for oxygen and a good rub down. As soon as he was able they laid him on my chest and there I was falling in love all over again.

My little Sam Bear

It is such an awe-ing experience to carry life and then bear it into the world.  I look at Sam (and Ren) now and wonder of the miracle and God-magic that we beings are.  Created from such miniscule beginnings inside of me....and here they are larger then life, perfect and whole.

the leaving

It's not that I wonder....How did I get here, arrive at this life...a military wife, stay at home mama, a new baby brother on the way, gymnastics class, swim lessons, play dates, dinner, laundry, sweep, vacuum, clean....I know how it happened, I remember the fine details of deciding to live my life, choosing Ed and his life as my own.  It's still hard though...the tearing away from my sisters. We traveled home last month for my baby girl's (niece's) high school graduation....she's the one who is of my heart but did not grow in my belly, my sister always said that she had my girl and now my girl is grown..... and seeing all of them and their little loves, spending precious time and then packing the car and returning is hard...and it never gets easier.  I remember the first leaving, right after we married.  After a honeymoon time in the mountains we headed to TX so I could meet my Ed's parents...we were in Mississippi some where and it hit me like a brick.  And I starting crying...grateful for sunglasses and distractions so my new husband would not see my face full of tears....and then those silent tears turned into sobs and I could not contain my sorrow.  My Ed turned to me, full of concern and worry...what is wrong he asked...It's just that I will never see my sister's for their birthday, or attend my nephew's T-ball game or just pop in for dinner at one of their homes....or see my Mom and Dad on a regular basis, or be there in the hospital waiting room to welcome a new little love into the family....I will miss all of that and it's going to be hard.  Nine years and a couple months later...it's still hard, harder even because now I have little loves and there is no waiting room full of sisters to welcome my babies, no aunties at their games or meeting me at the playground, or popping into my home for dinner or lunch or crafting.  As a military wife I have learned to push back that sorrow and embrace friends as sisters but it is still not the same.  The leaving of my sisters, the tight hugs... that in a way are sorrow filled and say more than we are able because emotions run too deep...it catches me off guard some days and my heart it fills and overflows and if I could pack up my babies and drive the long long day to one of their homes I would..in a heartbeat.

Art Day with Schleich

We love Schleich Animals...LOVE.THEM.  Ren has them in the bathtub, the sandbox, at his bedside, in his pockets, riding with him in the car, carries them when we go to run errands, they sit by his plate during breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner...and now we do art with them!

I saw an idea of making animal tracks with Fisher Price animals on Pinterest (that's a link to my account btw)...and thought that we could do much better.  The Fisher Price animals do not have distinctive footprints but the Schleich animals do.  So distinctive that my Ren can tell you what animal track it is after he has laid it down.

Oh so careful to paint the feet

For this project we used art paper, washable paint, paint brush, water cup for cleaning the paint brush and an old towel.  I  also covered the dining room table with an outdoor tablecloth and had Ren put a paint smock on.

Ren picked the animals that he wanted to make tracks with and we lined them up on the table.  One animal at a time he picked a color, painted their feet and "walked" the animal on the art paper.

Walk the Pig

 This is what we ended up with...

Animal Footprints with Schleigh

I love how the octopus, lobster, seal, sea turtle and alligator turned out.  Ren painted their whole underbelly and we made sure to press all the legs and tails and parts down.  I also labeled each of the animals so that I would remember. 

We  have done this art project now about 4 times and it is a favorite of my Lil PeaPie's.

Do you or rather your little loves have an art project they like to do again and again...I would love to hear about it!

Awe

Sometimes at the end of my day, sitting still for a few moments, thinking on what has gone by, what cannot be changed, memories that were made, actions and reactions.  Knowing there are moments through out my day that I would change, that if I could have a do-over for my thoughts or actions or rather reactions I would take it.  I would make that moment better.

Daily, I fail, daily, I have to get up. Mama work is so much.  This work teaches me, exposes my heart, lays bare my soul and often sends me to my knees asking for forgiveness from my Father God and then begging for wisdom.  Wisdom that I need to guide my boys, to be the Mama that God created me to be. To follow His heart and His will for my little ones.

And then at that moment at the end of my day....I am overwhelmed.  By this life, by the love that fills my home.  By all that we have that is not tangible but priceless.  Hearing laughter, joy, quick 3 year old wit, love from my husband, seeing the work of his hands and feeling the babe that grows in my inner most being; move and kick and have a personality that is all his own...even before he opens his eyes to this wide world we live in.  These things they fill my heart, brimmed and overflowing.  And I stand in awe of the beauty that surrounds this life of mine, in awe of my handsful, in awe of the love that my God has for me and the ones I love.

I am linking this post to Heather of the EO, Just Write.

Life and Love

Some days of this Mama-hood are long and weary.  So much said over and over, discipline for the same things over and over.  The repetitive-ness, time outs, tear stained cheeks, shushing, running to catch, "let-me-outs", all again and again and again since we made the beds.  And then, then I am reminded, ever so gently and brought to tears....so thankful, so overwhelmed, of these handsful.... of this life we have.

This work that I have.  To mold and shape my boy so that one day he will be a good man, a man that loves well and lives well.  Striving to be a godly example to him and falling short....daily.  Showing him that my Abba-Father is working on me...still.  I have to ask for forgiveness too, for being short-tempered, not loving, not patient, not kind, not gentle.


His sweet little body curling up to mine.  "Mama, lay with me for naps", "you want to hold me?", sharp elbows, warm blond head, sweet voice....climbing up on me, hugs and kisses all is well and forgotten. Time to play, create, explore, learn, listen and take this life that we live in.

Mama-hood is hard work, weary work, glorious work, heart-full work.

We are blessed, with handsful of life and handsful of love.

Mama

‎....The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. -- Jill Churchill

I came across this quote again today...I saw it first Aug 30, 2009...my sweet PeaPie was 5 months old and I was brand new Mama..still sitting, spending hours in my red chair, nursing my sweet babe and dreaming about the years of wonderful Mama-hood ahead of me. I did not then and do not now, think that there is any Mama who is a perfect Mama....but I do know that there are a lot of good ones out there. Many who am a blessed to call my sisters and my sister-friends. Mama's that I can look up to, the ones that I no longer live near, but I watched them with their little loves and how they Mama-ed them and I took note. And now that I am in the trenches of two and almost a half with my little PeaPie, I remember their words, their actions, their tone of voice, their conversations and their Mama-love. No days are picture perfect, but there are hours sometimes it seems that the world is just right and I see the sunshine and smell the roses....and when those hours tick-tock down and the day seems long I remember. I dig deep and calm myself, take patience off that shelf of virtues and breathe for just a moment.

These days...the long, drawn out, why isn't this kid sleeping....doesn't.he.know.that.it.is.nap.time.and.we.played.for.hours.outside.just.so.he.would.nap

These days, they are the best days and I want to live in the moment of them and enjoy them and suck the life breath from each passing minute. I want to Mama to the best....to my best...I want to be a good Mama.

Best Breakfast Evah!

Let me tell you this is the BEST French Toast ever.  I came up with this when I was at the beach with my girlfriends years ago...it was eaten up so fast I should have made double the amount.  Ren called it just Angel Food and I thought it was the perfect description for this light and delicious breakfast. Breakfast is also my favorite meal of the day; I could eat breakfast foods for snacks, lunch and dinner. I think I love breakfast so because it has just the right amount of sweet and salty. This recipe does not include any salty but just add your favorite breakfast protein to the plate and you have the perfect combination....with a hot cup of coffee of course.

Angel Food French Toast
Ingredients

1 store bought Angel Food Cake cut into 1 inch slices
6 eggs (beaten)
1/3 cup milk
2 tsp cinnamon
butter for your skillet 
powdered sugar for dusting
4 cups of diced fresh seasonal fruit
zest and juice 1 orange
2 tsp of honey

Instructions
Combine eggs, milk and cinnamon into a shallow bowl.
Heat the butter in a skillet over medium heat.
Dip the Angel Food Cake slices into the egg mixture and cook lightly browning both sides.
Combine the fruit, orange juice, zest and honey in another bowl and stir to coat. 
Serve the Angel Food with a dusting of powdered sugar with fruit on the side. 
(I used strawberries, blackberries and apples). 

I hope you try this simple and so yummy breakfast recipe...let me know what you think if you do!