Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Today my heart
it spilled
wet tears of joy
down my cheeks.

I can't believe that I have a son!
One of my very own to love and nurture,
to watch him grow and
guide him as he discovers the world.

I am so blessed and filled
with the wonder of being
his Mama.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Just around the bend

Big changes just around the bend here in my paradise. Hubs is headed to Afghanistan in March but has an almost 3 month training starting the beginning of January...he will be gone until October sometime. So Ren, Elliot, Austin and I are moving to South Carolina while he is gone. This whole time is bittersweet as I am looking forward to seeing my sisters (I have 7 of them), their families, my parents and all my friends back home...but will miss my Hubs achingly while we are apart. I never really understood the sacrifice that our military men, women and their families make for our freedoms until I become one of those families. Hubs is going to miss a great deal of wonder-filled firsts with Ren and that makes my heart hurt just thinking about it. Ren will probably not really know his daddy when he returns although we have quite a few plans up our sleeves so that he will "see" his daddy everyday.

I am planning on taking a few creative classes while I am in SC, a cake decorating class, a pottery class and if I can find it a stained glass or blowing glass class, I am looking forward to tapping into my creative side and learn new things. I also have lots of fabric for a quilt (yes the very same fabric from sometime last summer) and I am taking all my beading and jewelry making stuff. With this move looming in the near future and lots to do to prepare for it. I am not sure about what to do for the holidays round here.

I'm ready to decorate for Fall, but do I get all the stuff out for it and then transition to Thanksgiving and Christmas? I just can't decide. A part of me just wants to keep the next thirteen weeks ( as simple as possible and another part of me wants to go all out...this is Ren's firsts after all.

On top of everything else we might be selling the house while we are away so I need to make it ready to "show" and make sure everything is in its proper place so if we are packed out (the movers come) while we are away I won't have too many surprise boxes (nothing like opening a box that has kitchen written on it and there is nothing in it that should ever go in the kitchen). We are going to have to go through our storage room and attic and give/sale/donate the "stuff" that has accumulated in the past 2.5 years (not to mention the boxes that we tote around from house to house but never open to use the contents).

I don't know if I am ready for all the work ahead...I know that I am going to have to use my time very wisely the next couple months so I can get everything done and not be stressed when we are ready to move.
We don't know where we might move to next year...I am anticipating something good (I hope) and just trying to take all these changes in stride.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Sleep oh please sleep...

Oh my sweet baby is a fighter. This boy does not want to go to sleep. We got back from a week vacation and every time I put him down after he has fallen asleep from nursing he wakes right up and starts crying. So last night DH put him down and the poor thing cried all night(with us checking on him every 15 minutes)....I cried too. When he woke from finally sleeping around 4:45am I got up and got him, nursed and let him sleep with me, I simply couldn't imagine him crying the morning away. So DH is checking on him every 15 minutes and tells him he is loved and rubs his tummy....and still he cries and cries and cries. Tonight he went down at 8:34pm it's 9pm and he is still crying....Oh my Lord....I do not like this. I don't want him to depend on me to go to sleep and I do not want him sleeping with us but I do not like for him to cry like this. Everything we have read tells us that this will take a week or less...I sure hope so, I don't know if my lil mama heart can take much more of this crying.
So, any advice? Did you let your little ones cry to sleep? How long did it take?