Life and Love

Some days of this Mama-hood are long and weary.  So much said over and over, discipline for the same things over and over.  The repetitive-ness, time outs, tear stained cheeks, shushing, running to catch, "let-me-outs", all again and again and again since we made the beds.  And then, then I am reminded, ever so gently and brought to tears....so thankful, so overwhelmed, of these handsful.... of this life we have.

This work that I have.  To mold and shape my boy so that one day he will be a good man, a man that loves well and lives well.  Striving to be a godly example to him and falling short....daily.  Showing him that my Abba-Father is working on me...still.  I have to ask for forgiveness too, for being short-tempered, not loving, not patient, not kind, not gentle.


His sweet little body curling up to mine.  "Mama, lay with me for naps", "you want to hold me?", sharp elbows, warm blond head, sweet voice....climbing up on me, hugs and kisses all is well and forgotten. Time to play, create, explore, learn, listen and take this life that we live in.

Mama-hood is hard work, weary work, glorious work, heart-full work.

We are blessed, with handsful of life and handsful of love.

Mama

‎....The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. -- Jill Churchill

I came across this quote again today...I saw it first Aug 30, 2009...my sweet PeaPie was 5 months old and I was brand new Mama..still sitting, spending hours in my red chair, nursing my sweet babe and dreaming about the years of wonderful Mama-hood ahead of me. I did not then and do not now, think that there is any Mama who is a perfect Mama....but I do know that there are a lot of good ones out there. Many who am a blessed to call my sisters and my sister-friends. Mama's that I can look up to, the ones that I no longer live near, but I watched them with their little loves and how they Mama-ed them and I took note. And now that I am in the trenches of two and almost a half with my little PeaPie, I remember their words, their actions, their tone of voice, their conversations and their Mama-love. No days are picture perfect, but there are hours sometimes it seems that the world is just right and I see the sunshine and smell the roses....and when those hours tick-tock down and the day seems long I remember. I dig deep and calm myself, take patience off that shelf of virtues and breathe for just a moment.

These days...the long, drawn out, why isn't this kid sleeping....doesn't.he.know.that.it.is.nap.time.and.we.played.for.hours.outside.just.so.he.would.nap

These days, they are the best days and I want to live in the moment of them and enjoy them and suck the life breath from each passing minute. I want to Mama to the best....to my best...I want to be a good Mama.

Best Breakfast Evah!

Let me tell you this is the BEST French Toast ever.  I came up with this when I was at the beach with my girlfriends years ago...it was eaten up so fast I should have made double the amount.  Ren called it just Angel Food and I thought it was the perfect description for this light and delicious breakfast. Breakfast is also my favorite meal of the day; I could eat breakfast foods for snacks, lunch and dinner. I think I love breakfast so because it has just the right amount of sweet and salty. This recipe does not include any salty but just add your favorite breakfast protein to the plate and you have the perfect combination....with a hot cup of coffee of course.

Angel Food French Toast
Ingredients

1 store bought Angel Food Cake cut into 1 inch slices
6 eggs (beaten)
1/3 cup milk
2 tsp cinnamon
butter for your skillet 
powdered sugar for dusting
4 cups of diced fresh seasonal fruit
zest and juice 1 orange
2 tsp of honey

Instructions
Combine eggs, milk and cinnamon into a shallow bowl.
Heat the butter in a skillet over medium heat.
Dip the Angel Food Cake slices into the egg mixture and cook lightly browning both sides.
Combine the fruit, orange juice, zest and honey in another bowl and stir to coat. 
Serve the Angel Food with a dusting of powdered sugar with fruit on the side. 
(I used strawberries, blackberries and apples). 

I hope you try this simple and so yummy breakfast recipe...let me know what you think if you do!

Quilt in Progress

Wordless Wednesday...

Books We Read

My Lil' PeaPie is a lover of books and letters and animals and books... and we read a lot....I mean A LOT...

I thought I would share with you some of our favorites right now, books that I have long ago memorized and come to love. When I am old and look back on my PeaPie's youngest years I know that I will fondly remember these books and I hope that they remain in our little family library for-evah.

The Big Red Barn by Margret Wise Brown quickly became top on our list of nigh-night stories and day ones too. We checked it out from our local library and fell in love. After two weeks we returned it and my PeaPie did not stop talking about it...so we checked it out again and again and then I finally bought it.

Time For Bed by Mem Fox is my go-to baby shower, 1st birthday book. This one came recommended to me by a sweet friend with two boys, she said it was and still is her little guys favorite book and she was sure that my PeaPie would love it. She wasn't wrong. Ren likes to point out each animal and their Mama as well as when they are doing or what is happening in the background behind them.

Zoo-ology by Joelle Jolivet is an over-sized animal book and it's all about the illustrations. Ren loves to look through this one page by page and talk about the different animals, what they look like, where they live, what sound they make and then we play match with his Schleich

animals.

Any Dr Seuss...Hop on Pop, Fox in Sox, Green Eggs and Ham, One Fish Two Fish, Mr. Brown Can Moo, The Foot Book, There's a Wocket in My Pocket....and my smarty-pants PeaPie knows the name to all of these books and can pull the right one off the shelf.

Humphrey's First Christmas By Carol Heyer, other-wise known as "Camel the Humph", Room for a Little One by Martin Wadell, other-wise known as "Kind Ox" and Who Is Coming to Our House by Joseph Slate, are three Christmas books that we started reading at the beginning of Advent 2010. Long after Advent was over Ren pulls them from the shelf, reads them on his own and asks me to read them too.

Quiet Night by Marilyn Singer, is another local library find that quickly made it's way in to our family library. My PeaPie loves this one and enjoys the illustrations as much as he enjoys making the various animal and bug noises.

Bear Snores On By Karma Wilson, I just happened to see the one at a local bookstore, quickly scanned through it and knew that it had to be added to our family library. I'm so glad I did, Ren loves this book as much as I do.

On Noah's Ark by Jan Brett, is one of the many Jan Brett books that we own. We love the animals (of course) and I love having another book that I can use to teach Ren about God's promises. Ren's other favorite Jan Brett book is Honey...Honey...Lion!

A list of a few more books we read:

The Biggest Bear by Lynd Ward

Little by Little by Amber Stewart and Layn Marlow (Hardcover)

When We Went to the Zoo by Jan Ormerod

Read and Share Toddler Bible retold by Gwen Ellis

God Loves Me More Than That by Dandi Daley Mackall

Barnyard Dance! by Sandra Boyton (ALL books by Sandra Boyton!)

Going to Sleep on the Farm by Wendy Cheyette Lewison

Sometimes I Like to Curl up in a Ball by Vicki Churchill

I hope that my sweet Lil' PeaPie always has a love for reading.....I keep my Amazon wish-list updated and always full of new books to buy.

What are some of your favorite kids books?

Mama Loves

Mama Loves...

a sleepy snuggly Lil' PeaPie

all the colors of the rainbow in my dishwasher

"i'm making music, Mama!"

pan-popped popcorn afternoons

coffee tables full of puzzles and color pages

coffee

nap-time

impromptu "i love you's"

followed by

kisses and hugs

play-dates

and

"where are we going today?"

the stack of library books that scream...

read me! read me!

every time we pass them

Lil' PeaPie's grin and laughter

laughter that

warms my soul

"my Deda is home...that's MY Deda!"

giggles and pitter patter of little feet running

round and round

hearing ears (even if I have to have a little help)

new menu ideas

old tried and true favorites

the local farmer's market

creating and serving a dish of love

coffee

a Deda that loves to grill

making new friends

keeping up the the ones that are made of gold

5 minute nakey-time

my own personal streaker

his blue/brown/green eyes

Turkish carpets

gifted iPad and it's fabulous cover

my "lil' old man" Elliot

our "he's outa control" Austin

rain and the smell of rain

eyes that can see

handmade quilts

sewing strips and creating beauty

quilt and pillow forts

flashlights

beauty

imperfection

my size 12's

seeing what I have not seen before

seeing through a 2 year old's eyes/heart

"can Mama hold you?" arms up

and these hands

handsful of life...

in the quiet

in the quiet

i hear me

the old

and the becoming

reminding

this

is the life

the one i

wished for

hoped for

prayed for

in the quiet

i am grateful

of handsful

of blessings

of goodness

of love

and

peace

in the quiet

of

this life

right now

i am finding

purpose

contentment

joy

in the quiet

i still seek

the me

that i hope to be

Change is needed

I've been in a slump, a funk, an idon'twannadonothin' but somethinghastochangeandsoonPLEASE

of late and I know that I am the one who has to make the change, that I have to start doing SOMETHING and this don'twannadonothin' attitude has to go...byebye out the window pleaseandthankyou.

Nothing is better to me than being a Mama to my Lil PeaPie....but I miss the accomplishments at the end of a work day/week. Feeling like I have made a difference...no matter how small....and stop before you think....You're a Mama, you make a difference.....I do know that...BUT....I need something more.

Better organized at home keeping, creative projects to keep me excited, a bible study to attend to keep me accountable to read, study and pray, a regular work out schedule to improve and keep my body healthy, new music to refresh my mind, spirit and heart....I guess I could go on and on....BUT the main thing is that I need a kick to get me going...So I am kicking and hoping and praying that I can effectively change...myself...from the inside out. Wake up with a determination to not let my days justgobysofastthatIhaven'tacluewherethetimeisgoing.

I don't want to look at my 36th year of life like I have looked at the past couple of years and not see improvements of self, see goals left sitting there, dreams still hanging out on the shelf collecting dust.

I'm going to do it, I will, I will, iwilliwilliwilliwilliwill...and you can look forward to seeing change in me, my blog and hopefully my whole life.

In the Details

If anything, having my Lil' PeaPie has taught me that life is about the journey...and the details that surround us...and the destination. We start off the day with talks of heading out to the playground. Everything thing we do...dry bummies, eggs and saushage, unload the dishwasher, load the dishwasher, sort the laundry, start the laundry, read some books, play animals, dry bummies, play animals, fold the laundry, SNACK, socks and shoes....leads us up to the destination of the morning...the playground.
We start out the door, Elliot, leash, Poo bags, keys, cell phone, careful, vewy careful, "by self...by self" he says, as we take a good 5 minutes to go down a short set of stairs..."leaves, baby rocks, throw....by self, by self". I have to stop and not rush, not get annoyed that we are not headed down the sidewalk yet...and enjoy that he sees the details that surround him....and stop and look and see those details for myself.
When we make it to the sidewalk I let him choose.....he always chooses....round the block the long way...leash in hand...more Elliot walking him than him Elliot. Of course Elliot stops...to smell and smell the details....and Ren picks up more leaves...and more baby rocks and I have a nice handful of his treasures.
Time to cross the street..."hold hands Ren...we always hold hands when we cross the street"..."let go, let go"...he insists...but I keep a firm hold..."no, Ren, we ALWAYS hold hands when we cross the street, that is the rule". As soon as we reach the sidewalk on the other side he is tugging and ready...not to keep walking but to stop and pick up more baby rocks and leaves...
"I spy with my Mama eye... the swings and a slide"...I encourage..."come on Ren...lets go...playground remember?" And then he sees the bright red slides, and the yellow steps and the swings...and he stops and looks at ants...and I wonder if we are ever going to get there...and then
I
realize
we
are
there.

This whole time
...the whole journey
...we were there
....are there.
The details of our journey and the destination...both are what it is all about. The details of the day...moment by moment....I don't want to rush through my life not seeing...not smelling, not tasting (thank goodness there is no tasting on the way to the playground), not touching, not feeling, not experiencing.
Because that is where we grow and learn and change and are stretched...
In The Details.

(all photos were taken while Apple picking Sept 2010)