Struck so

I found myself in an interesting place today...a place that I thought that I had traveled and navigated enough that I would not visit it again.

My Red Tent time has come and
I am saddened...I hoped and prayed and pleaded
One would think after all this time
of
Five
Years
of
Unexplained
Infertility

and

then

the Joyous Birth and Life of my Little Ren

that I would not be struck with sadness so.
At least
I did not anticipate this overwhelming feeling
of loss.

I'm almost not sure how to take it...but I will get on this little sad boat and let the wind blow me as it may...because if there is one thing that I have learned in my life is that you have to let things take their course...and you have to recognize the root and heart of yourself...and you have to accept it....and then you keep going....hoping, praying and pleading.