Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Weaning, Growing, and Dealing

So...we (the man, Ren and I) are about 1/2 way through his being gone. This is counting the training and YaY! I was thinking the other day about how I deal with the man being gone for so long....and I came to the conclusion that I "just do". Not a very clear answer I know....I knew when we married that he would deploy and he has 4 times this is not new to me. Although not living in my own home, staying with family and having Ren are all new things this go round. I am so grateful that my sister and her family were willing to open their home to Ren and I...and our two pups Elliot and Austin. We are a lot of extra to add to a busy home. I love that Ren gets to play with his cousins and spends time with his aunties and uncles. I know he will not remember our time here...but I will. So back to the deployment stuff....I know and accept the fact that the man is deployed and there is nothing I can do to change I choose to enjoy myself, stay busy and not watch the news while he is away. I made the mistake of watching the news his first deployment....I was stressed all the time, didn't sleep well and worried over something I have no control that is something that I do not do. I am working on the quilt (something I do have control over)....I have all my strips sewn in sets of the cutting down to block size and then the magic of piecing the blocks together.....I can't wait to see how it all turns out.

Ren is growing like a little weed. I can't believe that his is already ONE! We started weaning....Oh I stressed about this...I knew that I was finished ( I intended on nursing Ren to at least one year but no longer than 18 months)...that I did not want to nurse anymore about 2 weeks ago. So...I stopped all day time nursies....including the nap ones. That was not fun....Ren cried and cried at nap time....but then the other day it was like magic was in the air. I took him to the bedroom, told him it was nap time and started to lay him in his crib...he started crying and reached his hand out for my I laid him down on my bed and he settled down on his tummy with his lil hands tucked underneath him and started talking himself down to sleep. I patted his little back and sang him our night-night under TEN minutes he was crying, no fussing, no nursies....and he slept for a little over one hour...which is pretty phenomenal for him. And then last night and tonight when I carried him into the room...all ready for bed....he settled on my shoulder, tucked his lil hands between him and twisting his body for nursies, pinching me....or crying...I sang him our songs and prayed over him....and put him in his bed....Ren cried for 2 to 4 minutes and then asleep.....sweet baby....although not a baby anymore. I still nurse him in the morning when I put him in bed with me sometime after 5 am....but I have a feeling that he will not nurse at all for very much longer. Bittersweet....I am going to miss our time together.....we started nursing as soon as he was born....right after they wrapped him in his lil blanket. There is nothing I can compare this past year too....nothing I have ever done in my life comes close to the wonder-filled moments of being a Mama.

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