Monday, June 28, 2010

Thoughts

I have not written in so long
because
Sometimes it is easier to
not write
not speak of
my stress
my fears
my loneliness.

The Man is still gone

away

an ocean and more apart
and it hurts my heart
to have him so far from me.

We spoke today
on video chat (I am so grateful)
and he looked so sad
and stressed
and worn.

He needs me
to sit down and have a chat
while he rests in my arms.

I need him
to sit down and have a chat
while I rest in his arms.

I need to make him a meal
full of love and goodness
a meal that only I can cook.

Somehow cooking
helps heal my heart
and his eating of my love
heals his.

To say my heart it now
bears a heavier burden
would be truth.
But I cannot sit and tell
and pour it out...
If I could
I would
but I cannot.

2 comments:

Amy said...

Oh sweet Nili, praying that God's Holy Spirit would be a healing balm to your heart and his as you endure yet another separation. I am so sorry you hvae to do this again...so sorry you are feeling sad and lonely. Wish I could pop over and sit and chat.

WOuld love to hvae you consider meeting Rebecca and me in Dallas for True Woman 2010...October 14-16.

Miss you my friend! You are an amazing wife and mama, an amazing woman of God and faithful friend.

Love,
AMy

Sarah J. said...

I just checked out your new updated blog (LOVE IT) and I am so proud to be your sister! The words you write make my heart sad for you as I cannot imagine how hard the seperation is for you and Ren.
I am amazed at your strength and inspired by your close walk with God. Just keep on keeping on and the time will be over before you know it! Love you!